Weirdo's at Walmart....

Yes it's my only shopping destination of late. I needed of all things butcher twine....for my set it and forget it Ron Popeil Rotisserie...(i have perfected it!). They quit stocking Baby ALL detergent and I thought "do I really want Dreft?" so I opted for the Free and Clear. I guess since he's a boy now perhaps I can go for the gentle detergent...after all baby detergent just has the smell goods...oh but how I love the smell of baby clothes...*tear*. Standing in line at walmart I made the mistake of making eye contact with a lady who REALY needed to talk. She grabbed me by the shorts pockets and commented on them...told me how she hated wearing shorts and had to for her son's school day tomorrow. How she's a big fat cow but she's wearing these white shorts...I jumped when she touched me cause I was unloading my cart...then I faked busy with the baby and broke eye contact..she proceeded to tell the cashier about her son getting swats at school. .... Why did you pick me to comiserate about being fat and wearing shorts...If I was skinny...she might not have said a word. She did say "Lucky" maybe cause my smoking hot shorts...(tee hee) But honestly why do strangers have to talk about their weight with me? I have made a promise to not talk to strangers about my opinion of myself. I really need to work on what I say and how I act. I do love myself for the most part. I am more than my size I realize that fact. I want to portray a confident beautiful person not someone who is insecure about their weight. I know I do use this blog to vent about that however. It's not just me I know. Skinny women talk like that. This weekend at my moms, my cousin Caitlin commented on wishing she "had the skinny" that my other cousin had. This girl is gorgeous. She has a beautiful healthy teenager's body....and the cousin in question is a tall stringbean girl with a boys body. I commented on how she's grown sooo tall in such a short time and has a long torso, of which i am only envious for the pregnancy benefits. They start in on their self depreciating comments. I had to turn the conversation away quickly. I remember commenting on being fat when I wasn't. I would love to have my teenagers body again, but I hated it then... We are taught that that is what we are supposed to talk about. Weight and feeling fat are very very personal...we don't share intimate details about other things nearly as quickly. In the first 5 or 10 minutes a woman can find out how another woman feels about herself. But I was thinking about it the other day...and getting emotional. Every time in the past I would feel good about myself and think of other things that I had going...I would hear my critics so loudly. They would tell it to my face....like my boyfriend that said "you would be so hot if you worked out alittle"(....to a girl that worked out every day and dieted nonstop in highschool). Comments to my friend (really she wasn't for telling me) that "so and so" said he'd never go out with you cause your butt was soo big." I could never be friendly with this loser cause he would always think I liked him...and say crap like that...Or one that was especially bad was in my jr year history class a senior boy came and sat next to the boy behind me...talking loudly about girls and mentioned that I was cute "why don't you ask her out" to which the boy replied "no way...she's fat!" To all of those people I want to say "how dare you judge someone that didn't ask you in the first place!" There are those caring few that also feel the need to "let you know" to them I want to say "thanks...I haven't been able to look in the mirror for years now" "thank god you told me BEFORE I sent in my headshots to John Ford" "You mean the world didn't become addicted to Crack I thought they were getting skinny?" I could do this all night...but my vent is coming to a close and with that I will say that I will try to stop talking about weight. My friend in High School used to stand at our lockers and talk about every girl that walked by and how fat they were. I remember once I said..."you make me feel fat when you say that because I look at her and I see somebody smaller than me." I remember she flubbed and flushed and couldn't come up with anything else to say. It's true for me then it's true for me now...and it's true for everyone. We watch t.v. Our daughters hear us talk and they will think the same thing unless we stop. Okay so now who's the lady that really needed to talk! One last thing...Jessica you've touched me God be with your family